


like ripples on a blank shore

by popnographic



Series: SouHaru drabbles [11]
Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 19:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5387906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popnographic/pseuds/popnographic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin has no idea what's <i>really</i> going on with his best friend—no wonder he's surprised when he arrives outside Sousuke's apartment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like ripples on a blank shore

**Author's Note:**

> For Tumblr user [agaricals](http://agaricals.tumblr.com); this is based on their amazing [contribution](http://agaricals.tumblr.com/post/134590802492/ill-do-what-i-can-to-be-a-confident-wreck) to SouHaru week day 5!

When Sousuke doesn’t answer his phone, and it’s the fourth time that day Rin has tried calling him, he becomes worried. Of _course_ he does—they’re best friends, and best friends check up on each other. Talk every now and then, hang out, tell each other things. Well, the last thing is something Rin hasn’t really been doing a good job at in the past, but it later turned out that Sousuke hadn’t been much better about that.

He sighs and gets up to put his shoes on. Maybe Sousuke’s just being a lazy or forgetful ass and his phone’s been dead. Well, had it been dead, Rin would’ve been sent straight to his voicemail, which he isn’t. There’s quite a few signals that go through before he is, which indicates that Sousuke’s phone _is_ on. So whatever’s up with him must be serious, because Rin knows Sousuke rarely ever goes anywhere without his phone.

Rin leaves his apartment and walks the short distance over to Sousuke’s. It’s a walk he’s made so many times in just over a year that he could probably walk there with his eyes closed. (Well, with his luck, he’d probably _still_ end up walking into something.) The same thing even goes for Sousuke with Rin’s apartment at this point, which is saying something considering his poor sense of direction.

He arrives outside the apartment in the exterior corridor, but his finger stops just millimetres away from the doorbell as he hears not just one, but _two_ voices inside. One of the voices which makes Rin’s heart stop, and he frowns to himself in confusion. What the hell is _Haru_ doing here? Haru, of all people, in Sousuke’s apartment? Are they having a fight? It wouldn’t surprise Rin given their history, but when he sneaks closer and tries to listen in—how can he _not_ at this point?—that isn’t really the impression he gets. Not at all.

“… fucking hate this so much, it never _ends_ and I feel so _weak_.”

“You’re not weak, Sousuke,” Haruka says softly, and Rin’s frown deepens. _Sousuke_. Haru’s never said that before, and it certainly feels strange to hear Sousuke’s full name come out of Haru’s mouth when all he knows is them still being on last name basis like in elementary and high school.

“Then what the hell would you _call_ it, Haruka?!” Sousuke snarls, and Rin ironically thinks that _this_ is the way they should be; them arguing and not getting along.

“I think you’re strong. Stronger than me, stronger than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“And why is that?”

Indeed, why _is_ that? Not that Rin would necessarily disagree or anything, he’s just really curious to hear what ‘ _Haruka_ ’ has to say about it, seeing as those two seem to have dated for a very long time, and right in front of Rin, too. How have they been able to keep this a secret from him for so long?

“Because you’re able to get up no matter how many times life pushes you down. And I… admire you for that.”

The last part is hard to hear, but Rin still hears the sincerity in Haru’s embarrassed muttering. There’s just that one thing that makes something snap within Rin, because it _still_ doesn’t make sense, and he needs answers.

He pulls on the door handle—thank god Sousuke hadn’t locked his door—and when he opens, he sees Haru helping Sousuke on with his shoulder brace. A shoulder brace that should be gone and forgotten by now, at least from what Sousuke’s told Rin. _It’s fine, I’m alright now, I just don’t wanna swim. It isn’t my dream anymore_. Rin almost wants to snort at that now, realising it was all just a bunch of blatant lies.

Two heads turn to face him from where they're standing in the living room, and two sets of eyes meet his. Haruka looks like a deer in headlights, like he’s been caught with his hand down the cookie jar. What pisses Rin off is that Sousuke doesn’t even look _surprised_ , like he’d known Rin would come and see this unfold in front of him. Like he’d planned it.

Rin breathes heavily, his pulse thundering loudly in his ears. There are two questions in his head right now, and he doesn’t know which takes more priority. Why didn’t Sousuke tell him? And why the _hell_ is he with Haru like this, like they’re _dating_? He’s unsure of what exactly to focus on, but lets his unreliable mouth spout out the first thing his brain sends to his vocal cords.

“I thought your shoulder was fine.”

“… No, it isn’t. I fucked up again, and I was going to tell you.”

Rin snorts, looking at Sousuke like he’s lost his mind. He probably has a long time ago, that would certainly explain one thing or two. The hesitation in Sousuke’s voice before confirming Rin’s suspicions and what he’s seeing in front of him says enough.

“When? When hell freezes over? When pigs fly?”

“When I was ready to take that confrontation with you. Which I wasn’t, because I knew how you’d react. I’m never gonna be able to swim, Rin. It doesn’t matter how long you’ll wait, because it won’t happen. And I know that if I’d told you this, you wouldn’t exactly react in a positive or even neutral way.”

“You don’t know that!” Rin spits out, his jaw tightened. “Maybe if you’d actually told me the truth instead of telling me you were fine but you didn’t _want_ to swim, then maybe I wouldn’t react like this.”

Sousuke rolls his eyes and sighs. “You don’t think I know you, after all this time? How you would react if I told you something like this, something that we both know you wouldn’t like hearing?”

Haruka looks like he just wants to leave, and right now, Rin almost wants him to. Haru has nothing to do with this, and it pisses him off to see Haru just standing there like he _belongs_ there, with his hands still on Sousuke’s shoulder brace. How long have they been dating in the first place? And how the hell has this gone unnoticed by Rin for so long? Does _Makoto_ know? He probably does, it would be so typical, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it were the case.

“Why do you always have to make this about me?” Rin asks instead, and now it’s Sousuke’s turn to look like Rin is the one having lost his mind.

“Are you _kidding_ me? It’s _always_ been about you! Why do you think I started training so hard after you’d left Sano for Australia? So I could swim with you again one day, on the world stage! Why do you think I transferred to Samezuka when I heard you’d come back to Japan, without telling me, even? Because I wanted to swim with you, even if I’d fucked up my shoulder! You’re so fucking _dense_ , Rin.”

Rin recoils at Sousuke’s words, both because they feel like literal daggers shot at him, but also because of what they mean. Had he been more self-absorbed, Rin would’ve thought of this as a straight up love confession, but that isn’t what this is. This is Sousuke telling Rin just how much he values their friendship, and how much he’d wanted this future for himself, and for Rin. For the both of them.

“I still would’ve wanted you to tell me rather than having to find out myself,” he says. “It definitely would’ve been better than _this_. And what the fuck is up with you and Haru dating? When were you going to tell me _that_?”

“We were going to tell you,” Haruka butts in. “Soon, actually.”

“ _Soon_ ,” Rin snorts. “I can’t believe you two don’t trust me enough to tell me these things.”

“Can you honestly blame us with how you’ve reacted to our decisions in the past?!” Sousuke barks. “It’s not that easy, Rin. And he’s not lying, we _were_ going to tell you.”

“Does Makoto know?”

Sousuke blinks in confusion, looking like his roller-coaster ride just abruptly came to a halt, and he's been flung forward as a result. “No, Tachibana doesn’t know about us.”

As strange as it may sound to others, that actually makes Rin feel somewhat relieved. So he _isn’t_ the only one left out of everything, after all.

He feels like a soda that’s lost its fizz, and he sighs, letting his shoulders relax. “Okay. Fine, I get it; I’m sorry that I get so upset and kinda aggressive sometimes when you guys reveal things like these to me. It’s just that I—“

“—care. Yeah, I know,” Sousuke fills in, and Rin wants to add a ‘too much’ to it, but he refrains. They both probably already know that, anyway. “And I guess I’m sorry, too, because I’m still a coward, after all, continually procrastinating telling you important things like these. I just don’t wanna disappoint you.”

Rin shakes his head, feeling bad, guilty. “You wouldn’t _disappoint_ me, Sou. Your health always comes first. _You_ come first, before your best friend, and everyone else. Shit, I don’t even feel like I have the right to call myself your best friend right now.”

“I could say the same, but we’d be stuck here arguing about that forever if I did. Just… are we cool? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, and that you had to find out… well, _both_ of these things at once. I still have things to work on, and I’m only human.”

Rin can’t help but smile at that, and he leans against the doorframe. “We all are, and I’m sorry, too. Both of you, I… I mean that. I really do.”

Haruka only nods in response, and Rin knows that’s probably as good an acceptance of his apology as he’ll ever hope to get. Sousuke walks up to him and stretches out his left fist, just like they’ve done since they were kids. Rin laughs a little, and bumps his right fist with Sousuke’s. The air feels a little lighter following this silly thing of theirs, and he clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck, while Sousuke returns to Haruka's side. Rin has to admit that they  _do_ look good together, despite how strange he still finds it that they're dating. Maybe he'll hear that story another day.

“Well, I really only came over to see if you were alive. And I see that you are, so… I should go. I’ll… see you on Saturday?”

He forms it as a question, because he still isn’t sure if the ground beneath them is safe to walk on. But when Haruka responds with a ‘yeah’, and Sousuke nods at him to confirm, he feels like things will at least _be_ okay.

“We’re telling Makoto then, too,” Haru says. “At least _try_ and sound like you’re surprised.”

Rin rolls his eyes, smiling a little. “You wouldn’t believe my poker face, Haru. I think I can do that.”

The two of them exchange sceptic glances, and Rin flips them off before leaving. He does so with the smile still on his lips, however.

**Author's Note:**

> If the argument between Sousuke and Rin feels heavily clipped, it's because it is. Not in editing or anything, but I feel like I couldn't keep it going forever since those two have so many issues still to sort out, and it'd kind of deviate from this fic in the end. So, that's why. I hope it was okay despite that.
> 
> (YES, the title is a Radiohead reference, surprise. [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wCJPm19XYQ) is the song.)
> 
> —
> 
> [radiodread](http://radiodread.tumblr.com) @ tumblr


End file.
